Come On, Can You Ever REALLY Not Give A F#%k?
Believe me, one most definitely can NOT give a f#%k about something and or anything. It’s actually a beautiful talent to possess. And just like anything else, if not used wisely, may become a hindrance instead of a gift.
Allow me to explain. I may abhor the limelight, but I’m as happy a belly rubbed hound when the accolades come pouring in.
I don’t fish for them because how utterly lame would that be. But because I work so tirelessly, they give me a power surge, that gratifying stamp of approval that I’m as worthy as the words of others make me feel.
Because of me shit gets done, people feel supported and goals are achieved. I feel seen when praised for a relentless work ethic, for being a go-getter, a problem solver, blah, blah, blah. Selfish.
Why? Because if there’s one thing I can’t do, even though I give a butt ton of f#ks about it, I feel horrible despite accomplishing a million other tasks and getting a gazillion foot flapping belly rubs.
A tough pill that I have recently learned to swallow has been I don’t need to give a f#%k because people and things need my attention.
I tend to give a f#%k because I need to feel better about me.
Maybe, in place of facing my own faults and accepting accountability for resistance to change, recompense for my shortcomings will come to pass by piling on more shit to give a f#%k about so that those that slip through go unnoticed. After all, how long can you stay mad at a saint?
Josephine Bakhita
In my career and maybe yours, how much of a f#%k is given directly affects the well -being, in real time, of others.
So, myself and a known vast amount of my colleagues toss and turn at night rehashing what we didn’t get done the day before, stressing how we’re going to get it done tomorrow, then start each day by strapping on our super capes of hope only to be reminded before the coffee mug is empty, that all of the required f#%s to be given are beyond the capacity of one person.
We lament because we failed our mission without ever acknowledging it was a suicidal one from the beginning.
We berate ourselves because people’s needs may go lacking. We often even resent asking for help because why shouldn’t we be able to do it all, give a f#%k about it all?
Because you can’t. Period.
But do we stop, breathe, reassess? Nope, we pull ourselves into a vortex of pity and intrapersonal verbal abuse, then wonder why our work life, household and personal life take nose dives. All because we give too many f#%ks for the wrong reasons.
Here’s a revelation, what if we did this instead?
What if we embraced our desire to care for others by taking care of ourselves, first? What if we actually got some sleep, ate a healthier diet, exercised a little more, then provided ourselves the grace we give to others?
What if we prioritized the people, places and things that bring us joy, peace and comfort? What if we sacrificed the time we stress so we may in turn plan, declutter mentally and physically so that we may set ourselves up for success?
What if we simply stop giving a f#%k about what can’t be done to focus on what can?
How might we show up for those we’re struggling to provide care for? Would we be able to enjoy our career again? Would we be able to live better lives, be better people because we have ended the delusion that nothing is accomplished without us?
No one person is so great that the world is going to stop without them. And how incredibly narcissistic is it to carry that weight as though it changes the fact that it’s simply not true, and we’re not that damn special. Not even you, buttercup.
Perfection is a relentless murderer of progress. And not giving a f#%k about the impossible makes room for many more possibilities.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, crazy lady. You don’t know my story.
You’re right, nor do I give a f#%k. Either you want to be happy or you don’t and the only person responsible for that outcome is you.
Don’t agree? Let me put it to you this way. If overloading yourself with too many f#%ks to give was equivalent to touching a hot stove, how many times would you really do it?
Not giving a f#%k is no different. That shit hurts, stop it.
TRY THIS: Take one day to write down a set of goals for that day alone, then celebrate your wins and study your losses. What can you learn from you?
Remember, life is life, and if the things you stress giving all your f#%ks about don’t serve your joy, they’re feeding your pain. And just like me, the last I checked, you’re the only one holding the spoon.
WARNING
THIS MATERIAL MAY CAUSE CORROSION OF LIFE’S CHAOS INTO A PREFERRED EXPERIENCE
This journal is a testament to the freedom of embracing life’s unpredictability. It’s a reminder that sometimes the greatest joys can be realized when welcoming in a “f#%k it,” mentality.
By subscribing, you may learn that true peace thrives from controlling less and your only obstacles arise from the amount of f#%ks you choose to give.
THE FIG 