A Journal of Living the “F#%k It” Way of Life

Welcome to an exploration of life through the lens of a “f#%k it” mentality. This journal is documentation of experiences, outcomes, and reflections of choosing to embrace the unpredictability of a carefully curated, yet poorly controlled existence and all it has to offer.

The Decision to Let Go

March, 24, 2025

I’ve done this before, screamed from the internal depths of a weary soul, “F#% it!”

It happened in February of 2017 as I struggled to find value where I never felt good enough. A fire of misery sparking within as I attempted to dodge demons of my past, convinced that by ignoring them, I could create a better future.

The emotional wildfire spreading, fueled by depression as I continued losing strand after strand of hair, that experience alone powerful enough to pull me into an incessant loop of suicidal ideations and shame. Life was hard and I had enough.

Pessimistic, I left my cubicle, drove home, stormed through the front door and announced to my husband I was quitting my job.

Could we afford for me to quit? Hell no, but neither could we overcome the expense of having me teeter one more centimeter to the left and completely lose my mind.

Still, here I am again, eight years later, shouting, “F#% it!” And although the SMS (save my soul) alarm is resonating from a much healthier place, it continues to represent an equally daunting position in life.

So, “F#% it!”

Today, I’ve decided to forgo my comfort zone, to share what I now understand will be a journey without end; and to also give you some advice you can use immediately to begin seeing the world with rose colored glasses. Forget balance and ditch the glasses.

This life thing is a pendulum, a fruitless act of relishing celebratory highs while dreading gut wrenching lows.

It’s a helluva firework display with a shit storm forever looming, a constant battle to “get it right,” to have it “good,” for it to be easy.

And when it’s not, any information gathered along the way seems like rubbish because if it wasn’t, we surely wouldn’t have ended up on the wrong side of it again. Right?

Wrong. Life is perpetual chaos that most of us believe that if we’re smart enough, nice enough, tough enough, pretty enough, rich enough or work hard enough, we can tame.

Reality is the merry – go – round doesn’t stop, and as long as we’re breathing, neither can we.

Therefore, I have again made the decision to let it all go, the blame, the guilt, even the dusting of my shoulder because I truly have come an extraordinarily long way from lingering on the “bad side” of life, but there is still much to be done to embrace the chaos so that regardless of the position of the swing, it remains “good.”

I’ve learned tons over the last eight years. Like, back then, I needed a fix, a change, some clarity, a sliver of inner peace and one magical get out of emotional jail card. Now, I don’t care so much about what is gained by saying, f#%k it.” I simply want to enjoy the ride.

What’s different than the last adventure into F#%k It Land is my possession of a higher level of emotional intelligence, a mastery of social skills that do not equate to avoidance, a healthier sense of self and after an enlightening conversation, a review of lessons in the:

If you haven’t read it, you might want to give it a go. If not, hang around and watch how THE FIG translates not giving a f#%k into practical guidance for embracing the chaos of life.

Welcome to The FIG.

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WARNING

THIS MATERIAL MAY CAUSE CORROSION OF LIFE’S CHAOS INTO A PREFERRED EXPERIENCE

This journal is a testament to the freedom of embracing life’s unpredictability. It’s a reminder that sometimes the greatest joys can be realized when welcoming in a “f#%k it,” mentality.

By subscribing, you may learn that true peace thrives from controlling less and your only obstacles arise from the amount of f#%ks you choose to give.